ABOUT US
The Big Putts Portable Mini Golf Hire Melbourne team are an elite unit of highly trained events operatives with Olympic level customer service skills. There are over 6,000 applicants for the unit each year with only three positions available.
Our courses are the best in the business. They are made in a disused coal mine in a place you won’t find on any regular map. They are built by elves under the direction of an eccentric former commando who insists that Kenny Rogers (and only Kenny Rogers) be constantly played in his workshop. Cameras are obviously not allowed.
The courses are delivered under police guard by black vans with no licence plates and we must wear hoods over heads during the unloading of the courses so as to never learn the identity of the couriers.
We are obsessed with punctuality and our drivers have all completed both SWAT team and defensive driving courses. Our drivers are regularly quizzed on random streets in the metropolitan area and if they make a mistake, must walk barefoot to the street in question and kneel at the foot of the street’s sign and personally apologise to the street for not knowing its location.
We deal with event companies on a regular basis and are familiar with such industry jargon as ‘bump-in’ which we insert into almost every conversation just to show people that we are no strangers to ‘the biz’ and this is not our first rodeo. On a side note, we have actually set up at a rodeo.
Nobody is nicer to deal with than us. We are master conversationalists capable of world class repartee. World leaders and movie stars ring us just to hear our voices but we tell them we are too busy looking after our customers, which they respect. We have impeccable manners, clean shirts and nice teeth. We will be nice to your parents and they will love us.
Clinical trials were conducted using one of our courses, a competitor’s course and a placebo. The tests have conclusively proven our course to be scientifically the best course for every single scenario in which mobile mini golf could possibly be applicable. Trust Big Putts Portable Mini Golf Hire Melbourne.
Don’t argue with science.
Hire us.
